Hello again, all. Hope you're all doing well.
Sorry for the lack of update yesterday. I got caught up doing stuff and didn't think about it until it was so late that just the thought of it exhausted me. Lol. Didn't really do much yesterday, anyway. We went to a little Chinese restaurant near the school after class (Benny wouldn't come in because he was afraid of the MSG) and had some yummy food. Then I went home and napped for approximately forever.
Today we went almost immediately after class to the Memorial Cemetery, where the mass graves are from the siege of Leningrad. It was utterly beautiful, and a bit haunting. Imagine something like Arlington, but with enormous mass graves, walking trails amongst the individual markers, and plaques and statues. I'll have pictures up later sometime. In any event, it was a lovely experience, and really brought a lot of things to my mind. The head of our program, Nina Petrovna, is 80 years old, but doesn't look a day over 60. I was thinking the other day about all the things she must have seen, since she would have been born in 1930 or so. Today she told us that next class she would tell us about her experiences during the siege. I cannot even wait. I'm so interested to know what it was like, even though the other part of me doesn't want to know. I think I'm beginning to understand this place a little better, and understand why WWII in particular holds such prominence in the national memory. I feel like WWII will hold a more prominent position in my own mind after all this is said and done.
At the same time, I find it utterly impossible to explain things to people who ask me "What is Russia like?" It's strange, having known all this things before I got here, and yet to realize that I didn't understand any of it. I feel like I'm starting to look at things in a more personal light, and to feel more than think. In this way, perhaps I'm getting closer to truly understanding what Tyutchev meant when he said that it was impossible to understand Russia with the mind. Your heart has to be involved too, because that is how everything is decided here. Logic has no place here, only what you feel. Perhaps this better explains why Russia seems so completely antithetical to the Western world, where logic is valued above emotion.
I'm sure I'll have plenty more to expound upon that later, but my thoughts seem to have gotten away from me there, haha. As a parting gift, I will leave you with the text of a poem by Aleksander Blok. It left me with a rather indescribable feeling, but I hope you will enjoy it. I will include both the Russian original, and an English translation, though I can't find my favorite one right now. Perhaps I will have it for you tomorrow.
Девушка пела в церковном хоре
О всех усталых в чужом краю,
О всех кораблях, ушедших в море,
О всех, забывших радость свою.
Так пел ее голос, летящий в купол,
И луч сиял на белом плече,
И каждый из мрака смотрел и слушал,
Как белое платье пело в луче.
И всем казалось, что радость будет,
Что в тихой заводи все корабли,
Что на чужбине усталые люди
Светлую жизнь себе обрели
И голос был сладок, и луч был тонок,
И только высоко, у царских врат,
Причастный тайнам,- плакал ребенок
О том, что никто не придет назад.
A girl sang in the church choir
Of all who are weary in foreign lands,
Of all the ships gone out to sea,
Of all who have forgotten their joy.
Thus her voice sang, flying up to the dome,
And a ray of sun shone on her white shoulder,
And from the darkness all watched and listened
As the white dress sang in the ray.
And it seemed to all that joy would come,
That all ships had reached shelter in peaceful harbors,
That all weary people in foreign lands
Had found themselves a serene life.
And the voice was sweet, and the ray was thin,
And only above, at the altar gates,
In touch with Mystery, – a child wept
Because no one will ever return…
No comments:
Post a Comment